Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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