My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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