He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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