belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
