Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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