You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm sobbing to NWA
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
