their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The uberlube is also flammable
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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