Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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