he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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