I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize