i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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