i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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