Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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