i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you had me at cake vodka
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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