Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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