My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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