i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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