We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
