The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
