It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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