How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize