Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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