quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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