ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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