Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
