So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
