Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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