you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dicks are not precious.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
