fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
