just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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