check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
