i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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