Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize