Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
