Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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