Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....