I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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