Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
