Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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