Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
