is your mom at the bar?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
