i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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