My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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