The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
