I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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