Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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