Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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