dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
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Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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