I can text with my tongue
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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