That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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