How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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