My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
