Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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