everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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