If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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