Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
