I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
