the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
