i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
